How Ya Doin'?

Today's guest blogger is subbing for the SJG, who's taking a mental health day to combat a lingering case of PTED (Post Traumatic Election Disorder).  

Yeah, so, hi, hey, how ya doin'? Name's Tommy the Termite. Got the title in 'Jersey, back in the late '80s, when I personally chowed through half a wharf. I'm a legend. Got the cuspids of a chipmunk, and the soul of a scorpion. As the story goes, once I whacked the waterfront, Sal, the Swarm Boss, sent me cross country to do some serious damage. Masticated my way through Milwaukee, Wichita, San Antone and San Diego, all the way to a cozy burb called Sherman Oaks. All them houses with the soft organic lumber, it's a freakin' smorgasbord. I haven't paid for a meal since I landed. Not that they haven't tried to take me down, those bastards. All the attempts to end me. They think they can end me? They can't end me. Tommy the Termite's stayin' put. Currently, I'm keepin' busy snackin' on the SJG's fancy French door. All those nice woodsy notes. Reminds me of my time in Burgundy. Just between us, I know the lady of the mansion wants me gone, after the whole flea situation. Like I care. I ain't goin' nowheres. Well, thanks for lettin' me blog on ya. If ya wanna reach me, I'll be hangin' out in the SJG's attic with some of my consiglieres. Ciao.