Never Trust A TV

Here's what happens when two rapidly aging, moderately tech-savvy, married Jews attempt to buy something on TV. There's some swearing. Okay, a lot of swearing. There's frustration you should never know from. There's the dark moment you almost call one of the millennials you spawned for help. There's the moment of "Who needs 'em, we can do this on our own." There's the movie hero moment when you almost give up. There's the moment you forge ahead, blindly, before you almost give up again. 

"I say we give up." "I say we carry on."

And yet, if things were simple, you wouldn't have conflict, and where's the fun in that? All we wanted to do was watch what we'd forgotten to record: "The Little Drummer Girl," the AMC mini-series with the multi-accented spies. God forbid they should repeat it a week later. After a lengthy search, involving NASA and ancestry.com, I found it on Apple TV, and soon the trouble began, what with the passwords and verifications and 92 other steps.

"I'm giving this five more minutes, then eff it!" 

-- Someone I married in 1980

Five minutes came and went, along with repeated threats to call the sons for guidance, and then this:

"Don't call them."

"Why not?"

"I just ordered it on the phone."

"But we don't want to watch it on the phone."

"I know, but maybe if I order it here, we can watch it there."

By there, he meant our gigantic flatscreen TV, where things look good, if only you can find them, and of course, pay for them with a credit card that hasn't been hacked yet. 

"Now what, honey?"

"Now we see if it worked."

"Which accent should I use? German-Israeli or Israeli-German?"

"Either one's fine by me."

Well, I won't keep you in suspense any longer. Longtime hubby is a genius. We watched one episode of "Little Drummer Girl." Was it worth it? Pretty much. Tonight, if we can muster the courage, move some funds around, sell off some heirlooms, and get past whatever horrible hybrid spy accent Michael Shannon is using, we may commit to the entire series.