Monday, July 15, 2019

Who's Calling?

"You sound vaguely familiar."

Only moments ago, my phone rang. Fine, it was my landline, go ahead and judge, I still have a landline. The name of the caller and phone number popped up in the cute little ID window on my phone. Here's the best part. I'd just managed to call myself, without lifting a finger. I picked up the phone, I mean come on, wouldn't you pick up the phone, if you'd just called yourself, and the conversation went something like this:
"Hello?"
"Hello."
"Who's this?"
"This is you."
"Me?"
"You heard me."
"I'm calling me?"
"You got that right, sistah."
"Is this a crank call?"
"Only if you want it to be."
"I don't want that."
"I didn't think so."
"So what do I want?"
"You want to know how you're doing."
"How am I doing?"
"All you have to do is ask."
"I thought I just did."
"Ask again. I got distracted. The dog is barking."
"You have a dog, too?"
"I have a dog named Blakey."
"Me, too. Coinky Central."
"Nah-uh. No coinky. Your dog is my dog."
"Oy vey."
"Just go with it."
"Okay. So... Carol, how's Carol doing?"
"It could be worse."
"It could always be worse."
"So I'm fine?"
"More or less."
"I'll take it."
"Well...."
"Well..."
"It was really nice talking to me."
"Me, too."
"Take care."
"See ya."
"Shalom."
"It's hard to say goodbye."
"I know."
"Let's hang up at the same time."
"On the count of three."
"One..."
"Two..."
Click.

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