Applause, Applause

Every now and then, it's important to add a new skill set to my extensive repertoire.  It reminds me that I'm not quite done yet.  I'm still evolving.  And so, it is with pride that I tell you what I can now do.  Not only can I recite the alphabet and count to ten, I can now apply calamine lotion to my eff'n mosquito bites, in the dark! Ta-da!  Can you do that?  I didn't think so.  You may ask yourself, why didn't the SJG turn on the bathroom light?  Is she that dense?  No.  I'm just far too considerate to wake mine sleeping hubby.  He puts in a long day at the promo factory.  He needs his beauty rest.  So last night, when the eighteen mosquito bites I acquired that afternoon, sitting outside, luxuriating in nature, woke me up from a deep sleep,  I dragged my tush out of bed and reapplied more of the useless, drippy pink stuff that, historically, has never worked.  I dabbed here and there and made a complete mess of things.  Then I stood there like a dummy, waiting for the useless drippy pink stuff to dry.  Then I crawled back into bed.  Another proud moment in the life of the SJG.  Woo-hoo.  I wonder what I can do for an encore.