Can I Get A Yum?

Shad roe, pineapple foam, cucumber sauce, 
coriander bubbles.  Can I get a yum?

Dear SJG,
Can we talk? What is up with foam that looks like saliva? Gourmet entrees that are priced at $103 for three bites of unrecognizable wild life, basking beautifully on a bed of pureed foam in many colors? I, as a deputy foodie, am offended. Two years ago, the concept of farm to table got me soo excited.  The visual of yuppies running from local farms with organic produce, meats and poultry was more than I ever imagined. I felt like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm eating the most gastronomically pleasing food combos at urban restaurants! Yuppie foodie farmers feeding yuppie foodie urbanites. A perfect partnership no? Well, how did foodie fabulous get to foodie foam in such a short time? Tell me. I must know!!!!
Anti-Foam,
Anne

Dear Anne,
Once again you've enlightened me with yet another trend I don't understand.  I'm devoid of an explanation, girlfriend, other than, people will eat the weirdest sh*t just cuz it's cool.  The only foam I want to know from is the kind that blankets my cappuccino, comme sa:

I'm not interested in strange soapy foam comme sa:

No thankie

Molecular whosie-whatsit be damned!  The SJG doesn't get it.  Don't froth on your beliefs, Anne.  Stay strong.  Refuse foodie foam on principle.  Start an Anti-Foam Movement.  Foam-wise, just say nyet.  I'm no foodie, like yourself.  I'm just a simple, kugel-cookin', blintz casserole-makin' kinda gal.  In my humble opinion, this current craze lacks substance.  It's a big dollop of bupkis. Resist it at all costs.  There's no there there.
You're welcome,
The SJG