Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Halloween: The Sequel

Today I'll dress up as the SJG and try not to scare too many people.  Today I'll try to resist the lure of the fun size candy that haunts me, hourly.  Can I walk by a bowl of M&Ms and Snickers, Three Muskateers and Reeses and not dive in?  Doubtful.  Look what I wrote two years ago.  The odds aren't in my favor:
Step away from the chocolate, SJG.  So what if it's sitting there, all pretty, in a big seductive bowl by the front door, whispering naughty things, taunting you:  "SJG... SJG...  Unwrap me...  Take a bite... I dare ya."  Gobble too many M&M's, peanut or plain, what's the diff, and you know the results, girlfriend.  Scarf down another Reeses Peanut Butter anything, and Monday morning, the city council will have to approve an expansion plan in the region of your tush.  Don't do it.  Fight it.  Be strong.  (But it's so delish.)  You don't need that candy.  (But I do.)  You're better than that Kit Kat Bar.  (No, I'm not.)  You're Good n' Plenty without a Hershey's Kiss. (Oh, shut it.)  This Halloween will be different.  This Halloween is a new beginning.  Step away from the chocolate.  Step your ass far away.  The next town over ought to do it.  The next county.  The next universe.  Candy is evil.  Remember that.  Say it with me now, people.  Candy is... oh never mind.  You heard me the first time.

No comments:

Post a Comment