The Committee of Two

"This yard looks like absolute kaka."  "I couldn't agree more."

On our daily dog walkies, Cheryl and the SJG like to inspect the neighborhood for proper landscaping etiquette and pass judgment accordingly.  When we see something askew, something unappealing, garden-wise, we like to issue an anonymous citation:

Dear Neighbor,
The front of your house looks like total crap. We are embarrassed on your behalf. Surely, you must be aware of the tour buses that drive by, hourly, and mock your sad excuse for a garden.  Here are a few helpful suggestions to correct this hideous eyesore that is ruining the value of our neighborhood. Perhaps you could fix your sprinkler system so that water may actually touch your grass and therefore revive it from its current weedy state.  We've seen you out front, tinkering with the sprinklers.  How about hiring a professional?  Many people would be happy to take your money and make this problem go away.  Once you've restored water to your lawn, perhaps you could plant some of our favorite flowers to brighten up our day when we're forced to walk by your dilapidated house.  We're particularly fond of roses, but any flower will do at this point, before we declare your front yard an epic fail.
Thank you,
The Committee of Two