Team Mariah

Nicki vs. Mariah

The news this morning:  Mariah has hired body guards to protect her from crazy-ass Nicki Minaj, after Nicki threatened her with physical harm.  Oy vey, that's some nasty sh*t right there.  Can you blame me for obsessing over this lunacy?  I can't help it.  I'm making bold statements in the kitchen, statements the menfolk aren't taking seriously enough.  "Nicki Minaj is ruining 'American Idol' for me," I said last night.   "I'm not watching it anymore."  "You'll watch it.  You love it," said the youngest.  "You live for 'American Idol," said the eldest.  Hubby said nothing.  He was too busy making a love connection with his new iPhone.  But I'm telling you, bleeps, if this Idol mishegas continues, this little loyal bitch is out!

And now, for your enjoyment, because the SJG is a giver, here's the transcript of their notorious diva-off, courtesy of my close friends at TMZ.  Personally, I think Mariah showed enormous restraint.  

Nicki: Think I'm playin? Think this sh*t is a f*cking joke? Think it’s a joke? Think it’s a joke? Think it’s a joke? Say one more disrespectful thing to me, if you say one more disrespectful thing to me -- off with your head!
Mariah: I am not being disrespectful.
Nicki: Off with your head, off with your head... Don’t tell me I'm insecure, don’t tell me I'm inadequate ... you gonna get sent [inaudible] just fall back; don’t ... you don’t know [inaudible] I don’t feel inadequate. You’re the insecure one sittin' up there running down her resume every five minutes...Every time you take a shot at me I'ma take it back, and if you gotta f*cking problem then handle it. I told them, I'm not f*cking putting up with your f*cking highness over there ... figure it the f*ck out. Figure it out.
Mariah: whyyyy, whhyyyyy ...
Nicki: Figure it out
Mariah: ... do I have a 3-year-old sitting around me???
Nicki: I’m not sitting here for 20 minutes and having you run down your resume everyday, No! Goodbye!
Mariah: Listen ... I can’t see my kids because you decided to make ... to have ... to have a little baby fit and going all around the stage.
Nicki: Good, well then go see them now, go see them now ... you’re boring as f*ck, you’re boring as f*ck.