More Like Lady Mary

Oh, why can't I be more like her?

Dear SJG,

A few days into the New Year, and I've already broken my first resolution to behave more like Lady Mary on "Downton Abbey." I've tried so hard to act cold and aloof, snippy and elegant, and exceedingly stone-faced. I've tried never to crack a smile. I've tried to scold those I deem beneath me, which is just about everybody. I've tried to hire a housemaid to do my hair and gently advise me on matters of the heart, but no one has applied for the position. Deep down, I'm willing to do anything to save my family from ruin, but without Lady Mary's strong will and arrogance, I'm afraid I can't quite pull it off. Is all hope lost?
Awaiting your reply,
Not Enough Like Mary

Dear Not Enough,
Don't despair. We all have a little Lady Mary in us. I'd bet a week's wages that somewhere in your collection of costume jewelry, there's a remarkable string of faux pearls waiting to be draped around your delicate neck. Open a drawer and you'll find a hidden pair of long gloves. Search your soul and let your snooty attitude shine. Don't give up, my dear. Channel your inner Lady Mary and get on with it. Be the haughty British bitch you've always wanted to be. Point your nose up at everyone. Scowl like you mean it. Say something witty yet cutting. You can do this.
You're welcome,
The SJG