The Tournament of Moses

Oy! I got my own tournament!

Live! From Sherman Oaks! It's The Tournament of Moses! And here's your host for the very brief yet meaningful parade, the Short Jewish Gal:

Shalom and happy new year to you and yours. God willing you got some sleep last night and are starting 2015 off right, unlike me, who got zero shut-eye, thanks to the a-hole neighbors who blasted the most oppressive techno-torture crap party music till at least 3 a.m. when the police finally showed up.  But I digress. Despite my severe sleep-deprivation, I'm so excited to host the Tournament of Moses. This is a biblical figure who deserves his own parade, don't you think? I mean, seriously. What a mensch.

 Moses Matzo Basket 

Oh, boy, here comes the first entry, the Baby Moses Float, sponsored by Yehuda Matzos. What a surprise. It's a big basket made of, what else, Yehuda matzo, and there's a fake (yet adorable) baby Moses inside. I'm told the newly-paved SJG Lane represents the Nile river, where baby Moses floated precariously (as opposed to leisurely) till the Pharaoh's daughter spotted him and raised him as a prince, as all nice Jewish boys should be raised. What a marvelous way to start the parade. And who says I wasn't paying attention in temple.

A plague on both your houses! Just kidding! 

Only the one that threw the loud party last night.

Look! Here comes the Ten Plagues Float, featuring 10, count 'em, 10, glittery animatronic plagues. I think the frogs look the most lifelike, but then, the gnats aren't too shabby either.

The Ten Commandments Marching Band

When we come back from commercial -- what, you think this parade pays for itself -- you're in for a treat: The Ten Commandments Marching Band, the Red Sea Parters, the Moses Supposes Soft Shoe Hoofers, the Let My People Go Float, made out of Ex-Lax (yeah, I went there!) plus a lengthy, keppy-scratching interpretative dance by the All-Hebrew Torah Interpreters.