And The Winner Is...

Me, dammit. Me.

Well, well, here's one the Oscar experts never saw coming. The biggest surprise of the evening: The SJG won the Oscar pool gelt at Cousin Andy's. A hundred and sixty smackers, minus the forty we put in. So, a hundred and twenty smackers. Sweet victory. This was a huge moment for me, an Oscar party highlight, a once-in-a-lifetime achievement. I pretty much had the lead the whole show. Sure, I missed a few. I messed up here and there. But everyone else messed up so much more. Their ballots were a shameful, shameful embarrassment. My heart goes out to the losers. You know who you are. Names available upon request.