Wednesday, February 18, 2015

The SJG Fraud Squad

Not the squad in question. But aren't they cool?

A jet-lagged SJG is a very dangerous thing. Proceed with caution, people, especially if you think you can eff with me. You cannot, capiche? You need an example. Fair enough. Consider the fraudulent fraud alert from a Major Banking Institution, right as I was heading out the door to dance my jet-lag away. The faker on the phone sounded pretty authentic, I'll give him that. He had my name and the last four digits of my debit card. There was ambient background noise, too. Fraud alert folks handling fraud, when actually, they were committing it, instead. Who knew? Me. But not right away. Then he started asking questions, and about a minute in, I turned the tables on him. "This isn't [insert name of Major Banking Institution]."

Oh. Hell. No. 

Whereupon the fake-ass bank dude said, "Yes, ma'am it is." "Uh, yeah, I don't think so," I said, and hung up, dramatically. Slam! Then I called the Major Banking Institution, and two reps and 25 minutes later, including a snarky exchange with their fraud squad, during which I had to keep proving my own identity, I felt semi-confident that my stupid debit card was blocked and my stupid new one was on the way. Not that I'll ever use it.


Sadly, given all the fraudulent phone activity, the jazz hands never made it out of the Sherman Oaks manse.


You may now weep on my behalf. 

2 comments:

  1. If it weren't for the fact I have a 4 pack-a-day habit when it comes to internet banking, shopping, and credit card use, I'd just go cash and to hell with 'em all.

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