The Senior Puppy Bowl

Dusty rests up for the big game

(Sherman Oaks) The Senior Puppy Bowl is SJG-TV's solution to what to broadcast against the more popular Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet. "Sure, it's easy to put adorable puppies on TV and watch them run around, bumping into each other and tinkling on the puppy-size football field," said the Short Jewish Gal, SJG-TV's head honcho. "You put a biseleh peanut butter on a camera lens, and puppies are going to lick and slobber. Cute is cute. Big deal. You put a bunch of elderly puppies together, altacocker Spaniels and Labrador Retrievers that have already done plenty running in their day, and have the hip dysplasia and the arthritis to show for it; you put lovable dogs that shed everywhere and can barely get in the car anymore, not to mention up the stairs, you put that noble team of Olympic nappers on the field, and see if they can stay awake long enough to make a touchdown; now you've got something to root for." This year's halftime performers will be Schlomo and the Rodents, a talented group of senior squirrels that will attempt to sing "Lullaby of Broadway" while searching for walnuts they've hidden in the SJG's backyard. "Listen, their memories aren't what they used to be. They may not  remember where they hid their nuts. But the search promises to be riveting. Plus, these guys can really carry a tune."