Wednesday, January 20, 2016

For You, Some Jokes

A middle-aged Jewish woman goes in search of a famous guru. She takes a plane to India and then a boat up a river, and then hikes into the mountains with local guides. All in all it takes her months of hardship to track down this guru. When she finds him he is in the middle of some kind of ritual which lasts for days and the guru's followers won't let her see him. Finally the guru is ready to receive visitors and calls for the woman to be admitted. She stands before the famous guru. "Harvey," she says. "It's time to come home!"
A young man came to a rabbi and said, "Rabbi, I know I'm a fool but I don't know what to do about it." The rabbi retorted, "Son, if you know you're a fool then certainly you are no fool." "Then why does everyone say I am a fool?" asked the young man. "If," said the rabbi, "you yourself don't know why you're a fool but listen to others who say you are, then you surely are a fool!"
The Goldbergs went to pay their respects to their good friend who had just died. They filed past the coffin. "How good he looks," remarked Mrs. Goldberg. "How relaxed, how tanned, how healthy!" "And why not?" replied Mr. Goldberg. "He just spent three weeks in Miami."

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