Sunday, January 10, 2016

What We Talk About When We Talk About Nothing

As we fall asleep, we talk about this:
"You know what we need?"
"A wet bar."
"We had a wet bar in the '80s. We never used it."
"We used it."
"I have no memory of ever using it."
"That's because they didn't put it in the right place."
"What's the right place?"
"The bedroom."
"A wet bar in the bedroom?"
"Wouldn't that be great?"
"No. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of."
"It's not dumb."
"So dumb. How lazy do you have to be to have a wet bar in the bedroom?"
"It's not lazy. It's classy."
"I've never heard of anyone having a wet bar in the bedroom."
"I have. And a mini-fridge."
"In a dorm room. Or a hotel."
"In homes."
"Whose home?"
"I distinctly remember seeing a wet bar in someone's master bedroom."
"Maybe you were with your first wife at the time."
"That's probably it."

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