Saturday, April 9, 2016

If You Must Know

1.  What is your current position on Global Kvetching?
Answer:  It's 100 percent justified.
2.  How much do you weigh?
Answer:  Some days more, some days less.
3.  Why do celebrities look that good? 
Answer:  God forbid they should look bad.
4.  Would you feel safe in a driverless car?
Answer:  Have you met me? No.
5.  How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?
Answer:  Plenty wood. But please, let him chuck elsewhere. My fence is already falling apart.
6.  If you were running for president, what would your platform be?
Answer:  "Free kugel for everyone!"
7.  What's it like to be a famous international blogger?
Answer:  It's better than a kick in the head.
8.  Is it true that in a previous life, you were taller?
Answer:  With my luck, I was shorter.
9.  Did you take your silly pill today?
Answer:  I doubled the dosage.
10.  Will you visit the moon when flights become available?
Answer:  Have you met me? No.

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