Tuesday, December 6, 2016

SJG Appreciation Month

There are so many ways to deliver a warm and fuzzy heartfelt holiday message to the SJG. Email. Text. Voicemail. Pony Express. Facebook. Carrier pigeon. And then there are the huge, showy public statements that keep me going. I refer you to the outpouring of love I received yesterday. Why yesterday? It was SJG Appreciation Day, silly. The skywriting over my palatial Sherman Oaks estate: "We worship you, SJG!" The billboard on Sunset: "Stay Kvetchy, SJG!" The exuberant sighting at Gelson's: "OMG! It's the SJG!" That one caused a near-riot in the produce section. Have you ever tried to autograph a banana? Not easy, my friends. Not easy. But I'm learning. I'm learning all the time. In case you missed SJG Appreciation Day, relax in the slacks, as Grandma Shorty used to say. You can still make up for your hideously hurtful mistake. I've just declared December SJG Appreciation Month. I'll take my appreciation in any form: Gelt. Gifts. Giveaways. When it comes to swag, the SJG says, "Gimme." Hanukkah doesn't start till sundown, Christmas Eve. So step it up, people. Step. It. Up. There's still time to spoil me. Get busy.

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