Sunday, December 18, 2016

The Drain & Spin

It's the latest dance craze to hit Sherman Oaks since... um... forever. It's the Drain & Spin! So, what is it and how quickly can you learn it? Calm down. I'm about to show you. The Drain & Spin is a jazzy jig inspired by the SJG's rapidly-failing, soon-to-be-replaced washing machine. You heard me. The Drain & Spin is laundry-inspired. The Drain & Spin is an extra cycle anyone doing the laundry over here, and by anyone, I mean me, has to endure in order to wring the sogginess out of the wet clothing before tossing it in the dryer. As an extra bonus, the Drain & Spin goes with any music. The SJG likes to do the Drain & Spin to Beethoven's 5th Hanukkah Hora, or The Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited." It just depends on my mood, which tends to oscillate, much like my washing machine. So. Are you ready? Okay! Let's do the Drain & Spin, bitches!

Part 1: The Drain

Slowly melt to the floor, sideways, as all hope and joy drain right out of your aging anatomy and deposit you into the abyss.

Part 2: The Spin 

Okay! You've made your point. Now get up off at that floor! And spin! Spin wildly, round and round and round, like Stephen Colbert. Faster, faster. Spin till it feels like your keppy is going to explode. Mazel tov! You've done the Drain & Spin. Now sit down and rest. You've done enough dancing for one day.

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