Nagging 101

"Did you go to the one on Western?" "No."  "Where are you right now?" "On the bus."  "So take the bus to Western."  "I can't hear you."  "Go see the one on Western."  An hour later:  "It's great."  "What is?"  "The one on Western."  "So you went?"  "I told you I was going."  "Can you get it?"  "I think so."  "Is it big enough for the three of you?" "It's not huge."  "But you like it?"  "Uh-huh."  "So the one on Western is the one?"  "Uh-huh."  All that's left to do:  schlep to Santa Cruz, bribe apartment lady with deposit, lie a little -- "Party?  Not these boys. They don't like to party.  They don't know how to party.  They wouldn't know a party unless you put a blindfold on them and said, 'Pin the tail on the donkey.' They're serious students.  They're here to learn!" -- move him out of the dorm, bring him home, feed and water him, smother him, annoy him, nag him, hug him, drive him back in September, move him into the apartment, drive home, nag him from afar.