Tuesday, November 27, 2012

An "Everything" Bagel

Much like an "everything" bagel, some meetings are better left on the plate. A nice plain meeting, with a few simple ingredients -- come in, sit down, leave -- the SJG can handle.  But an "everything" meeting with too many unpredictable ingredients -- the sad-faced assistant who sits and stares, the executive who falls asleep while you're pitching, the 4.2 aftershock that rattles the building, mid-pitch, the ejector seat that spits you out when you're done -- I could do without.  Why am I bothering you with this?  Just be patient.  There's a reason.  The meeting I'm supposed to go to with the lovely Kelly is starting to feel a little half-baked.  They've rescheduled it 18 times in the past two weeks (slight exaggeration) and already I'm experiencing Pre-Traumatic Meeting Disorder. Reschedule a meeting with the SJG and the lovely Kelly once, fine.  Call at 9:50, when we're practically out the door for the 11 o' clock meeting, and tell us "we have to reschedule," not good for the wavering-esteem-writer psyche.  Not good at all.  Reschedule the meeting and postpone the @#$%'n meeting again, as happened yesterday, and the SJG and the lovely Kelly start to question our entire writerly existence.  Oh, Hollywood.  Can't you just behave for once?  Can't you be a nice bagel?  Must you be so seedy?  So full of sesame, poppy, onion, garlic, caraway, and salt?  So "everything"?


  1. Think of it this way. At least, you can EAT the bagels! (Sorry about the mtg, hon.)

  2. Sorry for your troubles. The analogy, however, is fantastic!
    That said, you need to see this as a problem they're having internally rather than an affront to you or your project. Kill 'em! (Figuratively speaking, of course. :) )

  3. So true, so wise, so grown-up, so not me. But I'll try, damn it! I'll try!