General Confusion

"I've always loved a man in uniform."

On last week's episode of "The Generals," a pretty biographer sent threatening emails to a pretty philanthropist, which set off a sh*t storm of tsouris and are-you-kidding-me worldwide.  Adultery. Resignations.  Cancelled 40th b'day bashes.  Angry spouses.  And a major feeling of "ew, icky."  Today, the plot thickens!  Now there's another general in this head-scratching sex sandal.  More emails.  Or, as some prefer to call them, "inappropriate communications."  The pretty philanthropist who got this wacky ball rolling stars in this latest episode. 

"I'm humiliated this much."

Well.  Nothing gets the SJG more excited than a possible infraction of military rules!  This is some juicy stuff right here.  This is some twisted telanovela.  I won't lie to you, peeps.  I'm into this tale, big time.  I needed this new obsession.  I'm rapidly becoming an expert on all the sordid details.  Just ask the menfolk in my house, who don't seem quite as invested.  They're more worried about the Lakers and why the Zen Master didn't get the gig.  Personally, I can't wait for the HBO version of "When David Met Paula."  I'm already casting it in my brain.

Steve Buscemi as Petraeus!

Angelina J. as Broadwell!