By George

"Do you ever get down on your knees and thank God you know
me and have access to my dementia?" 

A recent near-celebrity encounter with an Alec Baldwin lookalike brings back memories of actual celeb sightings, some more fulfilling than others.  The time I saw Jason Alexander in a Studio City gift shop named Emerald Forest reminds me of one such moment that proved less than enchanting.  It happened years ago.  Imagine the SJG looking at the greeting cards.  But not just any greeting cards.  A line of Seinfeld greeting cards!  And then, as if by magic, I spot George Costanza, checking out the jewelry!  Come on.  What are the chances of a coinky-dink that epic?  I couldn't let this golden opportunity pass.  I had to do something.  It just seemed so bashert, so meant-to-be.  The comedy gods would've been deeply disappointed in the SJG if I'd just stood there like a lox, and said bupkis.  Plus, I would've regretted it for the rest of my life.  So.  I tapped into my daily allotment of chutzpah, picked up the card with George Costanza on the front and walked right up to him.  "Here's something you might want," I said.  Oh, I was so proud of myself.  I felt so clever.  I expected a big grin, maybe a chuckle from the sitcom star.  But, noooooooo.  All I got was a pointed look of, "Go away, you're invading my personal space."  Well.  Exsqueeze me, Mr. Alexander, sir!  Exsqueeze me for living!  I sulked away in shame.  A letdown like this, you never get over.  I still can't watch an episode of "Seinfeld" without remembering how very un-George he was to me. Look, maybe he was having an off-day.  It happens.  Still.  As George himself might say, would it have killed him to be nice to the SJG? That's all I'm askin'.