Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Bedding From Beyond

Brian Keith: Uncle Bill on "Family Affair"
Maybe you saw the news update.  The relocating eldest needs an upgrade in bedding.  It's time to toss the PCS (Post-Collegiate Shabby) and usher in the SWD (Sophisticated Working Dude).  Who better to orchestrate this important merchandising search than the SJG?  After all, I'm always happy to put my children's needs above my own, and induce guilt later at random intervals.  Like a good little consumer, I schlepped the aisles until I came upon an astonishing discovery.  Honestly, I had no idea that Brian Keith, Uncle Bill, has his own line of comforters.  Did you?  My God.  The man has exceptional taste.  What's that you say?  Take a closer look at the label?  Alright.
Not to be confused with Bryan Keith, bedding designer
Oh.  Bryan Keith.  Not Brian Keith.  I see your point.  One letter can make such a big diff.  Still, why can't Uncle Bill have his own line, brought to you by the SJG?  Bedding From Beyond.  Yes, I like the sound of that.  But I won't stop there.  I'll include other TV icons of my youth. Beloved Boomer Bedding from Beyond.  Catchy.  Who doesn't love alliteration?  It shouldn't be too hard to contact these folks.  Didn't I read somewhere that when TV stars pass on, they take their publicists with them?  A couple calls to the Psychic Network, a couple milly in funding.  I can get this baby up and running in no time. Here's hoping Davy Jones picks up my vibe. Chances are the Cute Monkey has some groovy design concepts for pillow cases, sheets and duvets.