On The Shelf

Anisa!

"On the shelf or off the shelf?" -- Anisa, belly dance teacher extraordinaire.  She owns the studio and is crashing our jazz class.  
Blank stares from those of us trying to learn the routine.  On the shelf? Off the shelf?  Say what?
"You don't know what on the shelf means?" -- Anisa.
"Never heard it."  -- the one, the only Doug Rivera.
"Boobs on the shelf or off the shelf." -- Anisa demonstrates, thrusting her chest proudly, up and over her rib cage (on the shelf) and then contracting it (off the shelf.)
"Oh... cool.  I love that!" -- The SJG.
For the remainder of class, I shout, "On the shelf!" and "Off the shelf!" at least 123 times.  At last, I've found a saying that means so much, over and beyond Anisa's definition:
"That's on the shelf!" =  "So hip, I could scream!"
"On the shelf in 2015!" = "Next year in Jerusalem!"
"You found that on the shelf?" = "You paid retail for that?  You have my condolences."
"You're off the shelf, mister!"  = "Go to your room!"
"Are you off the shelf?" = "Have you lost your eff'n mind?"
Or maybe it just means if you've got it, flaunt it, and even if you don't, fake it and smile.  That works, too.