Wednesday, May 7, 2014

The Only Dieting Advice You'll Ever Need

Dear SJG,
My diet isn't working.  I'm counting my calories.  I'm exercising like a deranged hyena let loose on Ventura Boulevard.  I'm doing everything right.  All I'm losing is my mind.  Will I ever fit back into those hot pants I wore once on a dare in 7th grade?
Thanks,
Hungry in Sherman Oaks

Dear Hungry,
No.
You're welcome,
SJG
Dear SJG,
Is it true that pulverized rocks are more nutritious than gluten-free waffles?
Thanks,
Just Lost A Tooth in Sherman Oaks

Dear Lost,
No.
You're welcome,
SJG
Dear SJG,
I just ate a garden snail, and now I'm eyeing the schleffera in the corner of the living room.  Is it okay to eat a houseplant?
Thanks,
Trying to Make Smart Choices

Dear Trying,
No.
You're Welcome,
SJG

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