The Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. SJG

The New York Public Library 

Sometimes the SJG gets a little turned around in NYC, a little mixed up.  I think I'm going west.  I walk for many blocks and then I realize, oh sh*t, I'm supposed to be going east.  Or maybe I think I'm heading in the direction of Central Park, when in reality, I'm heading... well I don't know where I'm heading.  In NYC, I'm directionally-challenged. On Monday, I was on the Avenue, Fifth Avenue, strolling along, not paying attention, when I realized, I have no eff'n clue where I'm going.  Then I saw the lions.  You know the lions?  Patience and Fortitude?  There they were, standing guard.  I went up to say hello and wound up going inside the library.  I'm so glad I did.  I felt instantly smart and highly educated. This feeling didn't last long, however. The second I left the building, my brain emptied out and I got a little lost again. I went up to 56th, walked and walked and realized... hmm... I'm not seeing the hotel.  They must've moved it while I roamed mindlessly in my jet-laggy stupor.  Bad hotel!  Sadly, I never found it again.  Oh well.  I'm sure hubby will notice my absence at some point.  In NYC,  I'm just a wandering Jew.  

We meet again.

Where else did I wander?  Thank you for asking.  Always good to bring the focus back to me.  I wandered beneath the scaffolding, where the men in hard hats tend to hang out and argue in a lively fashion about various sports-related subjects.  "What's with all the scaffolding?" I asked one of them.  He shrugged.  "It's New York."  I found his answer unsatisfactory

                                                    The Haggling District

I wandered into the Diamond District next, a mistake on my part.  I couldn't even look in the window at all the sparkle plenties without someone coming outside to try to sell me a nice heirloom for a mere $38,000.  "Darling," a man said, "I'll give you 40 percent off right now.  Come inside and have a look.  Your earrings are lovely by the way, darling."  "Thank you." "Come on in."  "No thanks."  "40 percent off! Come back.  Where you goin', darling?"  

The 21 Club:  Jockeys line up to meet me

It was rude of me not to tell him where I was going, but then, I had no idea myself.  Eventually, I wandered over to the famous 21 Club.  Spent some quality time with all those cute jockey boys.   They seemed so happy to see me, even if I did look a little lost.