The Five Stages of Sofa Withdrawal

1.  Denial - "The sofa is fine; you can't even see the rip on the side; nothing bad is happening to the sofa.  In the right light, the sofa still looks new-ish."
2.  Anger - "Why this sofa?  Why not your sofa?  How could this happen to our sofa?  Who did this?  Who sat on it and made it look old and lumpy and neglected? There must be someone we can blame."
3.  Bargaining - "I'll do anything to save this stupid sofa.  I'll give my life savings to recover it.  I'll go to hell and back for this sofa. Just make it look good again."
4.  Depression - "I feel bad about my sofa.  It makes me cry just to look at it.  What a sad sack of a sofa.  What a loser sofa.  Let's just put it out on the curb and let someone else deal with it."
5.  Acceptance - "The sofa is going to be okay.  It's in a good place now. Carlos the upholsterer is taking care of it.  He'll beef it up with extra padding.  Wait till you see the pretty fabric my mother-in-law found shlepping around the Design Center.  One day, we'll get the sofa back and we'll be happy again."