The End of Envy

Victory!

For nearly 14 years now, we've been keeping our extreme envy in check. In private, we've longed for a street that was as smooth as a baby's butt.  We've longed for asphalt that didn't threaten to swallow us whole.  We've dreamt of a street free of potholes and bumpy terrain, a street that didn't require off-road vehicles and a certificate from the Bob Bondurant School of Defensive Driving.  It's taken courage and navigational fortitude, not to mention a heap of mazel, just to make it down our lumpy-ass street without throwing our cars out of alignment. Oh, how we've suffered.  Hubby became a pothole vigilante.  He'd go out there and cover the holes himself.  Every few months, he'd badger the folks over at Street Maintenance.  "Yeah, your street's in failed condition," they'd tell him.  "Your street's been in the repair queue for 30 years."

Everyone needs a cause, and ours was looking like a lost one.  But then, a miracle, my friends.  All that kvetching has finally paid off. This week the epic rebuilding, the asphalt makeover of SJG Lane, has begun. There are "no parking" signs and trucks and manly men with hard hats and fluorescent vests outside right now, contributing to noise pollution. It's music to my ears.  On Monday, I thought we were having an earthquake.  But no, it was just some dude operating heavy machinery, ripping up the roughest road in history. Soon... three weeks from now, maybe four... our street will be smoother than yours.  Will I lord it over you? Will I brag?  Will I do my best to make you feel bad about the crappy condition of your street?  Oh, hell yes.  That's how the SJG rolls. I like to spread the envy.  What's mine is yours.