Delete, Delete

It used to be fun to get mail. There was the promise of an actual hand-written letter, maybe a post card from some exotic locale. The last time I received an actual hand-written letter or post card was... I have no idea. I think I still had braces. Not so fun getting mail anymore. I open the mail box, only to find bills and catalogues and, God willing, nothing that says Jury Duty.

It used to be fun to get email. BF (before Facebook), there was the promise of communication with long-lost friends. BT (before texting), there was the promise of communication with an estranged relative. These days, my early morning email is full of highly questionable growth opportunities, financial and otherwise. Schlong Enlargement? Really? Delete. Delete.

It used to be fun to answer the phone. There was the promise of an agent calling to say, "Someone actually wants to hire you. I know! I'm as surprised as you!" These days, I thank God for caller i.d. I can see who's calling, and usually, it's someone I don't know trying to guilt me into giving money. This is a variety of guilt I don't need. So please, all you greedy anonymous emailers and cold callers, leave the SJG alone. Don't ask me for anything, and I won't give you anything, not even a credit card, and that way, no one gets disappointed.