The Man Who Straightened My Teeth

I don't know about you, because frankly, you haven't stopped by in a while, despite the free food and alcohol, but I read the obituaries. Not just some of the time, all the time. As in daily. I read the Obits for many reasons. I find them interesting and sad and illuminating. Each one is a tiny gem, a short short story of a treasured life. Sometimes I stumble upon a name of someone I know. Yesterday was one of those days. The man in charge of my teeth for more years than I can recall passed away. My memory is a bit sketchy on just how many years I went to the orthodontist we called Dr. Alfred T. as in "Tushy" Baum, but it certainly included all of junior high and a good portion of high school. I had braces forever and wore headgear at night, then I got a permanent retainer on the bottom and then... oh you get the idea. I didn't get kissed much in those years.

But that's okay, I've made up for it. In those carefree days, before helicopter parenting came to be, kids navigated a safer world on their own. I walked to school by myself. I took the bus by myself. I shlepped to Westwood to see Dr. Alfred T. as in "Tushy" Baum by myself. I shlepped home by myself. It's exhausting to think about now. I spent the best years of my young life in that man's office. But I'm not bitter for the years of dental captivity. He was a nice man who straightened my teeth and always had Mad Magazine in his waiting room. My brother John, who also spent many, many years in the same office, on the other hand, feels not one iota of sentiment regarding the kindly orthodontist. He tells a shocking Shakespearean tale of lost retainers and the wrath of Dr. Alfred T. as in "Tushy" Baum. And yet, he never would've dredged up these dark dental memories had I not read the Obits and told him about the orthodontist's demise. So R.I.P. Dr. Alfred T. Baum. And thanks for all the sugar free gum.

Katy Perry?!