Saturday, October 29, 2016

Business Is Business

Hetty and Hannah hadn’t seen each other for some time when they bumped into each other at the Westfield Mall in Sherman Oaks.
"So Hetty, how is your grandson, the proctologist, doing?"
"My grandson is no longer a proctologist, Hannah. He decided to become a dentist instead."
"A dentist! Why the change in career?"
"Business is business, Hannah," Hetty said. "Let's face it, everyone starts off with thirty-two teeth but have you ever heard of anybody who has more than one tuchas?"

Old Avrahom was a poor tailor whose shop was next door to an upmarket French restaurant. Every day at lunch time, Avrahom would go out the back of his shop and eat his black bread and herring while smelling the wonderful odors coming from the restaurant's kitchen. But one day, Avrahom was surprised to receive an invoice from the restaurant for ‘enjoyment of food’. So he went to the restaurant to point out that he had not bought anything from them. The manager said, "You’re enjoying our food, so you should pay us for it." Avrahom refused to pay and the restaurant sued him. 
At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant to present their side of the case. The manager said, "Every day, this man comes and sits outside our kitchen and smells our food while eating his. It is clear that we are providing added value to his poor food and we deserve to be recompensed for it." 
The judge turns to Avrahom and said, "What do you have to say to that?" Avrahom didn’t say anything but stuck his hand in his pocket and rattled the few coins he had inside. 
The judge asked him, "What is the meaning of that?" Avrahom said, "I’m paying for the smell of his food with the sound of my money."

The following was overheard at a recent ‘high society’ party:
"My ancestry goes back all the way to Alexander the Great," Christine said. She then turned to Miriam and asked, "How far back does your family go?"
"I don't know," Miriam said. "All of our records were lost in the flood."

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