Sunday, October 23, 2016

Holiday Horrified

Dear SJG,
Color me confused, but which dang holiday comes first: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah or Christmas? In my neighborhood, I'm seeing cemeteries and witches, pumpkins and skeletons. In my market, I'm seeing turkey basters and stuffing. In Macy's, I'm seeing Christmas trees. Menorahs? Nowhere to be found. Did someone cancel Hanukkah? I turn to you for guidance during this challenging time.
Holiday 'Ho

Dear Holiday 'Ho,
Let me clear this up, immediately, and put your frazzled keppy at ease. According to my calendar, courtesy of Temple Beth Sheket Bevakashah, the only holiday happening right now is Sukkot. If you're smart, you'll gather up your fun size Hershey bars, your pilgrim hat, your dreidels and your candy canes and hide out in your homemade hut till the whole thing blows over.
You're Welcome,

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