Sunday, October 16, 2016

Personal Space Invaders: Studio City Edition

(Studio City) Police officers descended on a local fitness gym called Schvitz! to break up a vicious, verbal altercation between a short Jewish gal and a quiet yet buff, tattoo-covered man, over the placement of his cell phone, car keys and eco-friendly water bottle during Bang Ball - a challenging boot camp-style class guaranteed to make all participants strong and physically attractive. As the cops locked her up in Gym Jail for a time-out, the SJG shouted in self-defense, "But he put his personal stuff in my personal space!" The quiet yet buff man could be heard in the background saying, "I didn't know! I didn't know! I'm just a guest here. Someone should've told me she was severely territorial." At which point, the handsome, ab-baring Bang Ball instructor, a Mr. Davee Youngblood, intervened. "Dude, I told you that's where she put her towel and water bottle." "Oh no you didn't!" said his now ex-friend. "Oh yes I did." "Attica!" the SJG hollered from behind a stack of protein bars. "Attica!" When the new manager of Schvitz! threatened to revoke the SJG's membership, she settled down, admitting, "Sometimes I overreact."

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