Friday, October 5, 2018

Go Big Or Go Home

SJG Specialty Zunglasses

(Sherman Oaks) The SJG has joined forces with Casa de Cataract to create SJG Specialty Zunglasses, a fabulous new line of ridiculously oversized sunglasses that not only protect your rapidly aging eyeballs from those nasty UV rays, but also make a fun fashion statement. In an exclusive interview with Optics Are Everything, the SJG kvelled over her latest creation: "My Zunglasses are a bissel Jackie O, a bissel 3-D IMAX, a bissel post-surgery. With this classic look and sturdy build, trust me, you'll have it made in the shade, and thensome. Did I mention these chic and stylish frames are 100 percent accident-proof? Go ahead, drop them on the ground, sit on them, nuke them in the microwave, or back over them with your car. I'm telling you, these babies are indestructible. Why buy a cheap-ass pair at a hippy-dippy street fair, when you can overspend with a simple click, and maybe even get a nice discount, courtesy of AARP? I'm confident that SJG Specialty Zunglasses will be in vogue forever... kina hora poo poo poo. So hurry up and get your orders in now. Zunglasses come in one size: Zoftig. You're welcome."

No comments:

Post a Comment