Channeling Susie

Susie Essman on "Curb Your Enthusiasm"

Today I plan to dig deep into my soul and channel my inner Susie Essman on camera.  Actually, it won't be much of a stretch.  I tend to swear like a truck driver anyway.  Of course, it'll be hard to top my previous performance in Billy's recent short film, "The Intervention." Maybe you remember my one line: "Why couldn't you have just gone to Burger King?" Today's assignment calls for an even bigger outcry:  "Get the @#$% out of  my backyard, you mutha-#@$%ers!" My venom will be directed at, who else, Billy and his friend Nick, the uninvited guests who've rudely crashed our Sunday brunch.  Diva that I am, I insisted they cast Hubby, and wisely they complied.  Smart move.  They can't make this thing without the SJG.  Not only am I co-starring in "The Argument," I'm also the set-designer, prop master and craft services bitch.  I'm irreplaceable.  Hubby's line: "Who the @#$% invited these bastards?"  Here's hoping the lighting's good and my personal makeup artist doesn't get lost on the way over, like she did last time.