Dancer Defects To Sherman Oaks

Carol Starr Schneider, aka Short Jewish Gal, a danceaholic since the age of 12, will become the oldest, not to mention, shortest member of the renowned Sherman Oaks-based dance troupe Fosse!Fosse!Fosse! Starr Schneider, 53, was born in the parking lot of County General, grew up in Westwood and defected to the Valley in the mid-80s, despite her vow to never live there, not ever.  “Personally, I feel a sense of responsibility as a former Westsider,” the SJG said on Wednesday, adding that she was proud to join such an esteemed dance company, "even though my heart belongs to my homies in my former zip code, 90024." She said she was aware of the unique responsibility entailed in being the oldest, shortest dancer in Fosse!Fosse! Fosse!  “There will be people watching,” she said. “Tall people.  People of medium height.  People under 5'3.'' I don't want to embarrass the tribe too much.  I'll have to take plenty of Aleve and remember to stretch.”  The long-time director of Fosse!Fosse!Fosse!, Mr. P. Diddy-Steinberg, first saw the SJG dance at Anisa's Studio on Ventura Boulevard and was "blown away," he said in a phone interview. “Carol is a remarkable booty-shaker.  For a white girl of advanced age, she knows how to bring it.  Who cares if she has no classical training and her double pirouettes are for sh*t?  Every time I watch her dance, I'm both amazed and deeply alarmed.  She deserves to be let out of her golden cage and set free.  She's willing to make a fool of herself, no matter who's watching.  We need that kind of chutzpah in the company.”  When asked if F!F!F! will now invite other old, short dancers to join its ranks, Mr. Piddy-Steinberg said, “Doubtful.  One is enough, don't you think?"