Incoming Bagel

Based on yesterday's performance of my one and only line, "Get the @#$% out of my yard, you mutha-@#$%ers," it's quite possible I've missed my calling.  This is a loss to the acting community, not to mention the world, and I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize.  But don't worry, I'm doing my best to make up for it. I got a little carried away during the filming of "The Argument."  It's the eldest's fault.  He kept egging me on to go big or go home, so I went crazy with the improvisation.  Inspiration struck and I ran with it.  I picked up an onion bagel and hurled it, nearly hitting Mike, the cameraman, in the head.  "Good energy," Billy said.  "Nice work.  Next take, try not to injure the D.P." "Whoopsie," I said, humbled yet again.  Twelve takes later, I do believe I nailed it.  My delivery was spot-on and Mike escaped an unnecessary concussion. I found my Susie Essman, my Brando, my Olivier.  Next short, I hope they give me more lines.  Just think of what I could do with two bagels.