Easter Bonnet Or Gynecological Diagram?

I think we can all agree that life has its fair share of disappointments.  Yesterday, a spectacular one arrived via the US Postal Service.  My fake Princess Bea hat is a dud.  A letdown.  A cautionary tale. Unless I tilt my head just so, don't walk, don't move, don't eff with gravity, the thing simply won't behave.  It's a flip-floppery disaster, sliding this way and that on mine keppy.  That didn't stop me from emailing this silly photo of silly, silly me to my nearest and dearest for instant commentary. Cheryl wondered, "Is that an octopus or a uterus on your head?"  Both, I believe.  Carla asked if she could borrow it for an upcoming event.  Connie told me I looked royal.  I told her to curtsy when she sees me this afternoon.  Still, I have a plastic tiara on reserve and a long strand of pearls as backup, in case my fake Princess Bea hat just can't keep itself up for the Halloween party.  Or maybe my brother will make me another balloon crown.  Hint hint.