Get Smart

Early cell phone

Recently, we were out to dinner with our friends Andy and Kathi.  My cell phone sat on the table, with little on its mind.  "What's that?" Andy said.  "My cell phone," I said.  "Let me see that," he demanded.  Reluctantly, I handed it over.  Andy inspected it like an ancient relic.  "Does it even work?"  "Of course it works," I said.  "Can you Google on it?"  "No."  "Can you play Angry Birds on it?"  "No."  "Can you watch True Blood on it?"  "No," I said, hurling a chopstick at him.  Kathi stepped in.  "Leave her alone.  Stop bullying her."  She reached over and touched my hand.  She's a nice person.  Nicer than some people I know.  Andy turned on hubby next.  "How could you let her walk around with this sad excuse for a phone?  Aren't you ashamed?"  Hubby shrugged. "Not really.  We've tried to bring her around.  The boys and I, we've  shown her all the cool apps.  We've shown her how to text.  Her eyes glaze over.  We've done our best to enlighten her.  She's not interested."  Andy gave me my phone back.  "One day, this thing is going to give out, you know.  Then what?"  "Oh please, this thing is going to run forever."  Unless I drop it down the sink or back over it with my car.  Yet, in the past few days, phone-wise, I've had a change of heart.  It's all about respect now.  It's all about paying homage to a genius.  The universe is mourning Steve Jobs.  In his honor, I will finally Get Smart.  I will join the ranks of gazillions.  I will get me an iPhone. I'm not saying I'll figure out how to use it.  But I'll have one, and that's the main thing.