Saturday, October 22, 2011

Mazel Tov, You've Made The Olympics!

(Sherman Oaks, CA) – The exciting sport of women’s kvetching will make its Olympic debut at the 2012 Olympic Games, and the 24 American kvetchers who will vie for a spot in London have been determined after six months of qualifying tournaments. Eight women in each of the three Olympic kvetch divisions (Flyweight Complainers, Lightweight Moaners, Middleweight Whiners) will compete in the first-ever U.S. Olympic Team Trials for Women’s Kvetching in early 2012. “The 24 women who have qualified for the first-ever Olympic Trials are all outstanding kvetchers who will represent our sport and country in a first-class fashion,” said Carol Starr Schneider, USA Kvetching president. “They have each dedicated endless hours surrounded by annoying family members, friends, coworkers, movie-talkers, gum-snappers and rude people, in general, to perfect their skills.  It's one thing to kvetch.  It's another thing to kvetch and make everyone else feel your pain.  There's an art to it.  Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.  These ladies have made tremendous sacrifices to chase their Olympic dreams.  God only knows how many people they've permanently alienated to compete in this historic event. Mazel Tov to all of these world class kvetchers who have qualified for this once in a lifetime event.  And, might I add, if they need any extra support, they can call the Short Jewish Gal hotline, open 24-7:  1-800-WHY-MEEE?”

3 comments:

  1. In the words of Norma Rae ...
    "Ke-vetch, Ke-vetch, Ke-vetch!"

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  2. I am left to guess the absence of Heavyweight class kvetching (they NEVER shut-up) is owing to the incredibly high risk of murder-suicide in this category.

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  3. Heavy weight kvetching is the men' division.

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