What Was That?!

Shiksa version of the SJG

There I was, sitting at my desk, Dusty by my side, when I heard a door shut upstairs.  "Hello?" I said.  Silly question.  Automatic response, I guess.  My heart went thumpity-thump.  I was the only one home.  I stood at the base of the stairs and looked up, expecting maybe the ghost of Hanukkah past.  "Hello?" I called again.  No answer.  Okay.  Just my imagination running away with me.  I went back to my desk.  A minute later, I heard it again.  A door shutting.  I looked over at Dusty.  "Oh, crap!"  Dusty didn't seem too worried, but I knew, like any horror movie I'm too scared to watch, I needed to take action.  I needed to go into the dark basement and have a look-see, so you could all scream at me, "Don't go down there, SJG!"  Well, relax.  I didn't go down there.  I don't have a basement.  But I did go upstairs, armed with, what else, pepper spray.  "Hello?  Anybody there?  I've got pepper spray!  I'm not afraid to use it!"  I quickly found the culprits: two open windows on a windy day, rattling stuff, making doors shut, basically, effin' with the SJG.