Friday, March 17, 2017

It's Not Easy Being Green


Dear SJG,
According to the leprechaun who lives in my backyard, today is St. Patrick's Day. What is the etiquette regarding green on this holiday? Am I obligated to eat a green bagel? Must I wear green, too? If I don't wear green, will I get pinched? Green isn't a good color for me. I'm so confused. Please help me.
Rather Be Blue

How you doin'?

Dear Blue,
Calm down, you. Have I ever steered you wrong? Feed the green bagel to your leprechaun. You don't want him to stop with the four-leaf clovers. And I've seen you in green. You look like an overgrown ficus. Stick with blue. Chances of anyone pinching you aren't too high. But who knows? Maybe you'll get lucky.
You're Welcome,

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