Thursday, March 30, 2017

You Break It, You Pay For It

Dear SJG,
Last night I dreamt that I was at some fancy party and felt so out of place, I hid in the powder room. On the marble counter, next to the monogrammed hand towels, I found a miniature ancient artifact of Nike, the Goddess of Victory. Who keeps a mini Greek Goddess in a powder room? I mean, it's so show-offy, so "please enjoy our petite, highly valuable relic while you take a nice pish in our golden toilet." Well, I knew I wasn't supposed to touch Nike, she looked pretty fragile, but I couldn't help myself! I picked her up for a better look and, oy gevalt, her head broke off and rolled back and forth in the designer sink. I just stood there, feeling powerless. This morning, I woke up feeling like a loser and wondering how I'd ever pay to repair such a pricey tchotcke. What does it all mean?
Worried in Willowbrook

Dear Worried,
In simple symbolic terms, your dream means several deeply disturbing things:
1. You have trouble fitting in.
2. You're afraid to confront your fears.
3. Next time you're invited anywhere, hold it till you get home.
4. Even asleep, you're a klutz.
5. You are a loser.
You're Welcome,

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