All About Me Day!

The Sherman Oaks Commission on All Things Jewish has announced exciting plans to celebrate the birth of the SJG on Monday, January 16.  In addition to flying a Good Year Blimp over the intersection of Ventura and Van Nuys Boulevards, where the SJG spends much of her time, the commission will introduce an art, writing, and multimedia contest for students from across Sherman Oaks.  "The Short Jewish Gal believes strongly in arts and crafts,  self-indulgent poetry, and of course, the Internet as a self-promotion tool," said Shayna Madela, executive director of the commission  in a press release. "The SJG still has a lanyard she made at camp, a book filled with her own bad poetry, and a video collection of all the people she's stalked on Facebook."  As part of the 54th Annual SJG Summit, lucky participants will begin their journey in the parking lot of County General, where the SJG was born, and will then travel across town to Nate n' Al's, the first deli she ever ate in, as far as she knows, and then on to the nursery school where she went missing, thanks to a group of trouble-makers who locked her in a playhouse.  Next comes a visit to Warner Avenue, where a teacher found a note, written by the SJG, that said, "Drop dead," and answered, "Well, wouldn't that be nice!"  Emerson Jr. High will follow, where the SJG was sent to the Girls VP for making a face in Girl's Glee.  After that, Uni High, where she did nothing bad ever.  And finally, UCLA, where students will be forced to read every single article she wrote for the Daily Bruin. SJG Day will end with an appearance by, who else, the Short Jewish Gal, during which she'll give a self-congratulatory speech, pay homage to herself with a lengthy interpretative dance, and perform several numbers from "SJG: The Rock Opera."