Special Delivery

At the nice sushi place, I thought it was time to clear up a few misconceptions for the eldest son, officially 24 years old.  "Honey, I hope this doesn't upset you, but you weren't actually delivered by UPS."  He stared at his chopsticks, gathering his thoughts.  "But you always said I came wrapped in a comfy package, overnight express."  "I lied." "For 24 years, I've been telling people I was delivered by UPS, and now, you're saying that's not how it happened?"  "I'm afraid so."  "Then how the @#$% did I get here?"  "I delivered you."  "As in, you drove up to the hospital in a truck?"  "As in, I endured a hellish labor that lasted many hours, during which I grunted, screamed, and at one point, laughed hysterically for no reason at all, until finally, you entered the world with a pointy head that made your grandparents very nervous."  "But it was worth it, right?"  "Absolutely."