Moms on Facebook

Here's what started my confusion:  "Curse you, Midwest Hemorrhoid Treatment Center and your haunting blankety-blank jingle!"  Posted yesterday by my dear friend, blogger extraordinaire, the founder of BoomerGirl Diary, Cathy Hamilton of Lawrence, Kansas.  Jewish mother and professional worrier that I am, I immediately pictured Cathy sitting (uncomfortably) in some chilly waiting room, suffering, horribly, and losing her mind while some nightmare hemorrhoid jingle played on loud speakers.  Suffering so much she had to share it on Facebook, a great place to find sympathy for any and all life conditions. "Everything okay?" I added to a long thread of responses, most of which barely mentioned her situation.  "Let's take Zumba soon!"  "Let's have coffee!"  I couldn't help but wonder what kind of insensitive locals she was hanging out with these days.  Her so-called friends couldn't begin to match my sincere, heartfelt concern.

Then I read Cathy's response:  "Carol, it's a commercial that runs all the time on TV here.  (You guys probably don't get hemorrhoids in Cali.)  The jingle invades your brain and you catch yourself singing it while you're making dinner.  "Don't suffer in silence" is the tagline.  I'm OK.  But thanks for your concern!"  "Well, that's good news," I wrote back, relieved.  "And you're right.  Hemorrhoids have been outlawed in Cali since 2000."  Only then could I move on to other people's actual health problems.  Like my son's roommate.  Even though Billy refuses to be my FB friend (unlike his nicer, younger brother), his friends often friend me, and in return, I offer unsolicited motherly advice.  When Cory posted something about his clogged ears, I was all over it, scolding him (gently) for using Q-Tips -- "Oh, hon, Q-Tips make it worse!  You need to go to my ear doctor."  Naturally, I supplied her name and phone number.  He's going today.  Next problem, real or imagined.