Thursday, February 2, 2012

There's A Name For That

But you can certainly try
Add a new trait to the SJG list of personality quirks:  High Sociotropy. A fancy name for people-pleasing.  It's true, the SJG would rather please people than piss them off.  This morning, thanks to a new study, I found out that much like the reward for doing a mitzvah -- do another mitzvah! -- people-pleasers earn bonus points for eating too much just to make other people happier.  What's wrong with that?  Making friends and family eat alone isn't very friendly, especially if it's yummy food you whipped up in your own kitchen in their honor.  

"People-pleasers like the Short Jewish Gal of Sherman Oaks feel more intense pressure to eat when they believe that their eating will help another person feel more comfortable," said researcher Julie Exline, a psychologist at Case Western Reserve Universtiy in Cleveland. "Almost everyone has been in a situation in which they've felt this pressure, but people-pleasers seem especially sensitive to it.  We spent months studying the eating habits of the SJG and found that she'll eat anything you put in front of her if it'll make others happy.  Chocolate cake, bagels, a nice coffee cake.  The SJG doesn't discriminate.  She's very selfless that way. We're not surprised.  People-pleasers tend to put others' needs before their own, worry about hurting others, and are sensitive to criticism.  As everyone knows, the SJG gets very touchy about her height. Ask her how the weather is 'down there' and look out.  The only way to calm her down is to give her some candy."
  
According to Exline, the same behaviors that affect noshing can also affect other areas of a person's life. "People-pleasers may feel anxious or guilty if they outperform others in areas such as academics, athletics or relationship success. People-pleasers have a strong desire to avoid posing a threat to others, so they often put a lot of energy into trying to keep others comfortable."  A very astute lady.  She's got the SJG pegged.  Of course, there's a much simpler name for this syndrome: Jewish Mother.

5 comments:

  1. Bottom line ... you're a giver!

    ReplyDelete
  2. But what a wife, I'm guessin'.

    ReplyDelete
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