Short summary of every Jewish Holiday: "They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat."
Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days. " "Force yourself, " she replied.
What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish Mother? Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.
A young Jewish man calls his mother and says, "Mom, I'm bringing home a wonderful woman I want to marry. She's a Native American and her name is Shooting Star. " "How nice, " says his mother. "I have an Indian name too, " he says. "It's Running Water and you have to call me that from now on. " "How nice, " says his mother. "You have to have an Indian name too, Mom, " he says. "I already do, " says the mother. "Just call me Sitting Shiva. "
Jewish view on when life begins: The fetus is not considered viable until after it graduates from medical school.
Jewish telegram: "Begin worrying - Details to follow. "
Thank you. I needed that!
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