Much like the movie "Big," I went down to the carnival last night and asked Zoltar, not to be big, because that could've backfired and expanded the SJG width-wise, and we wouldn't want that. My wish was to be taller. "Just once," I told Zoltar, "I'd like to wake up with long, luxurious legs. Just once, I'd like someone to say, 'Holy sh*t! There goes a tall drink of water.' Just once, I'd like to buy a pair of jeans that doesn't need shortening. Just once, I'd like to tower over someone other than a five year old. Make me taller, Zoltar! Please, oh, please!" Well, my bleeps, my blog-loving peeps, Zoltar spit out a card that said, "Your wish has been granted," and sure enough, this morning, presto-change-o, this little bitch woke up looking like a Glamazonian Goddess! You heard me. The Short Jewish Gal needs a name change. I'm now the Not-That-Short Jewish Gal. I'm 5'6" and-a-half! Correction. Make that 5'7." I'm growing as I write this! If my wish keeps working, tomorrow, I may wake up looking like this gal:
Wouldn't that be something! Let me think about it. Why yes, it would be something freakatosis, not to mention, 100 percent miraculous!
Sunday, April 1, 2012
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You got me
ReplyDeleteHa! You so gullible,bro'.
ReplyDeleteHmmm. I've had a story doing slow laps in my head along those lines for a couple of years. Maybe you're the one to do it?
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