A Few Humble Requests, New York

Shameless name dropping up ahead: 
Tony-nominated, SJG-pal Mr. Bryan Cranston

Oh, NYC, you make me blush. You know how much I love jumping on stage, and so you announced the Tony Award nominations today, in anticipation  of my arrival in two weeks.  Thank you for that, NYC. Thank you for nominating one of the plays I'll be seeing ("All The Way") and Bryan Cranston, who's already been warned that I may wave hi to him during his performance.  But NYC, you kinda snubbed "Bullets Over Broadway" for Best Musical, which I'm also seeing.  Why did you do that, NYC?

Tony-ignored for Best Musical

You know the SJG is all about awards and nominations and important accolades.  You know I live for recognition and parking validation. Why, NYC?  Why did you rob me of seeing a Best Musical nominee? What's that, NYC?  You don't actually control who gets a Tony nomination and who gets bupkis?  That's no excuse.  I like to group all of NYC together.  Aren't you all part of the same team over there? Of course, you are.  Which is why I'd like to know what happened with that parade you were supposed to throw in my honor last year?  I sent you all my flight info.  I told you my gate number and everything.  And yet, no parade.  Not even as much as a banner. I had to twirl my own baton (I always keep one handy) and march to my own drummer.  I'm still hurt, NYC.

Also, NYC, I'm putting my order in early for Precipitation Cessation. Not a drop, NYC.  Not a sprinkle.  Give me the weather I deserve and I'll be nice.  Now then, how we doin' with the scaffolding, NYC?  Every year, I make the same request. Get rid of it.  It's in my way.  And every year, it's still there.  Maybe this year will be different.  Maybe not.  But listen, NYC, I'm a very forgiving SJG.  I'm coming anyway.  I know you love me.  Sometimes you just forget to show it.